I've had to explain trees, forests, the internet, nuclear bombs, and the police force to people. And I'm pretty sure I've befriended a five year old vampire.

[Befriended is a strong word there, it's more like she's decided watching him be terrified is amusing and likes following him around.]

This place is weird as fuck.

[A pause there because while he's not going to defend Jacob, he sorta feels like maybe he should? Wow, that's terrible. ]

Don't give him ideas, the fact he didn't have people dig latrines just to throw them in it is a minor miracle. I'm sure if the plumbing stopped working that was his plan. [Shudder because that would have been Pratt and a shovel for weeks of his life.] He's a fucking sadistic monster but he's still just.. a guy. He like showered and ate and slept and stuff.

Or I think he showered. I don't fucking know.