[ic] contact

[broshaw]

"We're sorry, no one is available to take your call. At the tone, please record your message."
[text/call/actionspam]

Comments

Back dated to end of June

[theweakhavepurpose]

bro. help me out. whos Lucius?

i think a weird flamboyant guy from the 1600s just set me up on with a booty call? the fuck is going on?

[broshaw]

lucius??? cool pirate dude thinks we're in hell
hes cute like sorta twinkish??? bigass mutton chops does this thing with his hip like
💃 IDK how to explain just trust me u will see
also IDK if he needs help LOL his approach is 🧨

[theweakhavepurpose]

shrky

fuck
sharky

i think
i need an assist

mb did smthng terrible and

fuck

so much blood and i need someone to pull this knife out of me b4 i make my shoulder worse

fuck
nevermind

okay no do mind

that was a bad idea

[broshaw]

[Sharky had been low-key preparing for this text since Pratt showed up and needed to be whispered the first time. That doesn't mean he isn't horrified to get it, though. He has a minor panic attack that thankfully totally doesn't translate into his text]

wtfwtfwtf

WHERE ARE YOU
DONT TAKE THE BLADE OUT
LEAVE IT IN UNTIL WE GET A DOCTOR

oko k just be cool mann jst tell me whre ur at
FUUUUUCK

[Somebody's already bolting from his cabin before realizing he has no idea where to go, so he's just. Standing in the hall trying not to hyperventilate.]

early saturday morning; CW: suicide letter

[opheliac]

(there will be a letter for sharky waiting for him outside the cabin on the floor.)

After the Pirate Party

[theweakhavepurpose]

you ever see a kid who looks like a purple haired wannabe lead singer for my chemical romance?

[broshaw]

GWAYS HERE?????

before the event after the knife meet cute

[theweakhavepurpose]

guess whos still alive and unstabbed and rewarding myself with so many ice cream sandwiches.
🍦🥳🎆

[broshaw]

😲🥂🏆🎉

FUCK YA DUDE


who was it what happened deets
is she cute
was gway there did u get an autograph
did she not actually hate you
or is she like super anti you in general
but like was cool enough to handle the knife trade without stabbing you

[ring_for_giles]

Sharky,

I hope you weren't too badly affected by the broken pledge.

It would appear I have a lot to thank you for.

Giles

[broshaw]

Giles,

🎉🙌FUCK YEAH BUDDY!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🎉
u a taken man now or w/e oldtimey shit u say

Sharky

9/5ishhh

[theweakhavepurpose]

u got a tamagotchi?
and didnt tell me?
fucking nerd

whatd it turn into?

[broshaw]

it was a weird beardo guy thing
then i forgot abt it
now its uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

probs dead huh
fuck

u want it??? think its under the couch rn

sometime around 11am the day after the Island Excursion

[ring_for_giles]

Sharky,

I don't suppose you any wisdom to share as to the best method of surviving a hangover, do you?

Giles

probably about 40 minutes later

[broshaw]

Giles,

dont stop drinkin
but its probs 2 late 4 that so

drink water
throw it up
drink a lil more
eat a shitton of bread
DONT throw that up
black coffee

p much wat i do every morning
OMG never have i ever rite???? yall got FUUUUUUCKED up

Sharky

IMMEDIATELY after his text to giles

[ossie_oswald]


Sharky

I'll have you know that I have prodigious self control stop
What's more I'm far more used to his charms stop
I'm enthused beyond measure to see him break your composure stop

Ossie

[broshaw]

Ossie

big talk for a dude who could barely wait 2 put his foot in my crotch stop
like i said 2 giles ur gonna be jelly of HIM stop
ur gonna old timey cartoon wolf whisle @ me n babe stop
it aint him ur gonna have 2 worry abt resistin stop

Sharky

ps the telegram things cute yall r fuckin adorbs

After Giles is Found Out

[ring_for_giles]

(OOC note: text is being sent at this point)

help
u hve that key
come to cottage
pls
ossies gonna kll me

[broshaw]

UGH YYYYYYYY
not u 2 fuckkkkkkkkkkk

brt 🙄🙄🙄

[theweakhavepurpose]

u absolute fucking dickweed
i thibk i just got grounded for fighting by the demon king
this is ur fucjing fault

[broshaw]

so wat
ignore him 👹👑✋🙄
or fite him
get that shit outta ur systm now

End of January

[theweakhavepurpose]

r uu busy.//?
cod use sum hlp
gttttting 2 room
IN tva
tauaaaa
cat place

[broshaw]

o shit ok bud
omw b there in 8

which is it
🔪 or 🍹

[yourexoduslaughing]

hiiiiii sharky!!! i told april i met u and she said u usually hottub naked!! im sorry i put a damper on things!! u totally dont need to next time ok? ill even take off my stuff too!!!

[broshaw]

o ya i fuckn HATE pants but fuckn prudes arnd here dont like me goin naked everywer
everwerer
gughhghg
everywhere!!!

also there r kids so i try 2 keep my pants on until after midnite

anywy 👀 nothin i like better then dbles skinny dippin

Early July

[pineapplesalmon]

[ After talking to Erin, César decides to figure out next steps. ]

Hey, Sharky. Remember those care packages you and Pratt made back when? I mentioned the idea to Erin again, and now I've been voluntold to figure out what to do with the idea for this time around. No real preference on who's in charge, for the record.

[broshaw]

ummm cool u can do it cuz im not
kinda jst grabed shit frum the gift shop so do that IG
but IDK if ppl r gonna want ship stuff since most evry1 hates this place

August

[theweakhavepurpose]

hey
Hey heyheyehye
Forgot to sign up to die so forgot to tell you important super awesome news

Dream girl from memory warehouse thing????????
TOTES REAL AND HERE AND HAS SICK TELEPORTING POWERS
Best two months on this whole pleasure cruise 🩷🩷

[broshaw]

OMFG REALLY

wait
OMG
OMG!!!
r u talkin abt flan???? 😍🍮💓🐺👮‍♂️???

Just a lil friendly text at midnight on October 2nd

[busball]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHARKY!

comment 420!!!!

[broshaw]

🥰🎂🍾🎉🎈
TY DUDE
and dw thats martinelis sprklin cider not champagne

A more reasonable hour on October 2nd (b/c I'm annoying)

[millay]

Good afternoon, darling. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. If you don't have any plans, perhaps we can set some time apart to spend some time together?

[broshaw]

🎂🎂🎉 TY babe!!! yea sure im down im not doin nething for a bit
thinkin i mite have a kickback in a day or 2
dont wanna get cursed again YK LOL