Homophobic?!? Me? Are you fucking serious? As if I didn't fuck every guy who would say yes and almost got kicked off the force for some bullshit don't ask don't tell crap.
Fuck you.
[ Deep breath. He's not gonna get mad at the guy who sits with him during his breakdowns and just spent half the night getting him to the infirmary to stitch him up.]
[ Releasing his death grip on his clothes he struggles back into his undershirt. He should have thought to bring a clean one but too late now. He's not gonna walk back to his room shirtless and risk everyone seeing how fucked up he is.
At least Jacob stopped John from getting ahold of him so he doesn't have LUST carved into his back like a tramp stamp. ]
Did he not uh.. mention that? Damn asshole. I shoulda stabbed him...
[ Pratt does not have a high opinion of him. ]
I mean, congrats on the sex. Sorry about the repercussions.
Fuuuck, dude, I didn't even think about it. Ughhh, this is why people aren't supposed to think with their dicks, huh...
[Sharky is like, this close to telling Pratt to just put the jacket on, fuck the shirt -- but also, ew. That thing shouldn't be in contact with skin. It's probably, like, toxic...]
Wait, you tried to stab him? [he's gonna have to confiscate your fucking knives, dude.]
[He manages to get the shirt on and not rip the stitches out, but it's a struggle. At least the jacket is easy since it's about four sizes too big for him. The deputy shirt can wait, he's not doing any buttons right now.]
No one's supposed to think with their dick but that doesn't mean we don't all do it. I dunno man, lots of things seemed a good idea at the time. Then were really, really not.
[A huff as he stands up, trying to see if he's too woozy to walk or if he can make it back to his room.]
He told me I was weak. That I should just kill myself and maybe this time it would be permanent. Said maybe that was my purpose. To die. [Glaring at the ground.] He's lucky I didn't fucking snap and skin him in the middle of the damn buffet.
[Needless to say, Pratt is not a fan of Sharky's hookup.] The important part is I didn't. Which I was kinda thinking was good progress for me.
...What? [Sharky needs to rewind like, everything Pratt just said.] Giles said that? Like -- classy, three-piece suit-wearin', super good kisser Giles said that??? That, uh. Does not fuckin' track, dude, like at all.
[...shit, he doesn't usually have this bad luck. Is his taste just like, off or something?]
Uh. Well, no matter which dude said that, I'm... ugh, proud of you for not actually murderin' anyone. [He feels like such a fucking dad right now and not the fun sexy kind] That shit is fucked up though. I'll. Uh. I'm gonna get to the bottom of all of this because I really do not want to be fuckin' around with someone like that.
It was fucking strange, cuz he was fine for the beginning of the conversation and then got.. real bizarre. [Pratt has been uh.. kinda busy being crazy and has no idea about the lying/truth thing.] And he kept smiling like he was happy about what he was saying. Dude is super weird.
Handsome, but weird.
And classier than either of us were gonna get in Hope County so.. you know. Gratz?
[Sharky should enjoy his fancy fuck while he can.]
New goal: don't murder anyone. Zero murders. I can do this. Second goal: wash this jacket. I know Jacob literally died in it but Jesus Christ.
That's so fuckin' weird, dude... Fuck, why do people around here gotta be fucked up? If I wanted that kinda drama, I would've knocked up a Highwayman. [By the time Sharky eventually meets back up with Giles, he'll have a better idea of what all of this means... of course, he'll have forgotten most of the details by then. Too bad!]
Oh my god please wash that fucking thing, man. It is so fucking nasty. [maybe it'll fall apart in the wash? That would be great!] Also, let's get you some fuckin' aspirin or somethin'. And then I'm gonna get you back up to your room so you can get some fuckin' rest.
We all got dragged here randomly against our will so there's that. Also I dunno, maybe the Captain guy only picks people that are super fucking messed up. [He doesn't know man, he just wants less drama. And specifically he wants to cause less drama.]
I swear to you Jacob actually did laundry. Well he didn't, someone did, but this thing fucking did get washed.
[Oh god was Pratt the only reason anyone did laundry in the Veteran's Center? Was he the first person to use the laundry room and then everyone else got self-conscious and starting washing their clothes. No wonder that place fucking fell apart when he was starving to death. He's probably the only one who knew the wi-fi password too.]
Considerin' the bullshit some of these guys have told me, I'd buy that. [Clarke's whole thing was particularly crazy. It's too bad she never mentioned how she bleeds black blood, huh!]
Yeah, I don't fuckin' buy it, man. That guy always looked like he was wearing clothes he dug out of a latrine trench. Seriously, he was the grossest out of all of 'em. [Sharky's biased, he almost fell in love with Rachel Faith based on her cute lil dress and her melodic voice. After her, all of the brothers are basically trash tier.]
I've had to explain trees, forests, the internet, nuclear bombs, and the police force to people. And I'm pretty sure I've befriended a five year old vampire.
[Befriended is a strong word there, it's more like she's decided watching him be terrified is amusing and likes following him around.]
This place is weird as fuck.
[A pause there because while he's not going to defend Jacob, he sorta feels like maybe he should? Wow, that's terrible. ]
Don't give him ideas, the fact he didn't have people dig latrines just to throw them in it is a minor miracle. I'm sure if the plumbing stopped working that was his plan. [Shudder because that would have been Pratt and a shovel for weeks of his life.] He's a fucking sadistic monster but he's still just.. a guy. He like showered and ate and slept and stuff.
Aw, dude, c'mon, Aiden isn't a toddler, he's just, y'know, free-spirited and shit. [Because there's only one vampire on this ship, right?]
I'm not givin' him shit other than a swift boot to the neck as I kick his ass overboard. [FUCK JACOB] All that tells me is that monsters need to eat and shit like the rest of us. Doesn't make him a normal guy. Doesn't make any of 'em normal.
[His newest, deepest desire is for one of the Seed brothers to show up so that he can really just beat the shit out of them. It's a simple desire, but it's a strong one!]
Wait Aiden is a vampire? I thought he could just turn into a cool dog. [Okay, that explains a lot about the black wolf with red eyes as opposed to like, a regular looking dog.] Aiden's rad though, decided I needed an emotional support wolf, and it almost worked. Closest I've been to getting snapped out of going all cultist.
[The logistics of Sharky being able to kick a guy who's probably six foot five in the neck don't quite work in Pratt's mind. Unless he's going to bicycle kick him like Liu Kang and if Sharky does that Pratt is going to assume his brain finally stopped working completely.]
None of them are normal, they're all fucking crazy, but they're still people. And people can be killed. [Culled. Sacrificed. It is taking everything in him to not say either of those.] But if any of them show up here we need to figure out a way to kill 'em permanently before Joseph is on the cruise intercom giving sermons. [Shudder, he never wants to hear his voice again.]
Though maybe if they don't have Bliss they can't do as much damage. And they'd only have so many bullets. I guess I could get Jacob to kill me until he runs out of ammo, that might work.
[Pratt stands unsteadily, leaning on the table for a second before heading to the door. He really needs to lay down, but first he wants to get back to his room.]
[OH NO] Awwww, shit. Don't tell him I told you. [At least this is only a minor violation of the bro-code, as Pratt is also a bro??] He's totally cool, man. I'm glad somebody managed to get through to you, even if he had to go full furry for it to work. [Sharky's gonna remember that. The helping part, not the furry part, in case that wasn't obvious.]
I'm serious, dude, the Seeds aren't gonna have shit goin' for them here. What are they gonna do, start a cult up around the guy in charge? Plus, most of the people here are super suspicious of like, everything. They show up here and they really will be just some fuckin' dickbags.
[Sharky is there every step of the way, man. Now that Pratt's less hysterical and more coherent, it's actually less safe to just randomly grab him, so he winds up sorta hovering nearby in case he's needed. It's hella awkward, but so's a knife wound in your shoulder!]
We, uh. Should probably tell people what kinda shit they got up to, you know? Like, warn everyone? ...Ugh, except then we'd probably just look like a couple'a nutjobs. Like Zip or Larry.
[The bro-code is ironclad, he'll abide by it to his dying breath.] I won't say a thing.
[Okay he can't really promise that because he does sometimes say insane shit and then forget, so it's possible that might happen, but he'll try his best.]
Also let's... let's not call it 'going full furry'.
[He has one shred of pride left, please don't go telling people that Pratt can be talked down by furrys.]
...Maybe they should show up. Imagine Joseph standing on the deck and preaching and then the Captain walks up and does some magic shit. Turns his skin inside out or vaporizes him or turns him into a toilet. [That's how magic works right?] Think it's too late for me, everyone probably already thinks I'm crazy. Or well, knows I'm crazy I guess. Besides, you wanna explain how Bliss works to someone? Cuz I sure don't. Jacob straight up told me how it works once and I still don't fucking get it.
[A soft laugh as he heads for the elevator, he's leaning on the wall but doesn't look like he's going to pass out immediately.] I told César about Zip. He was so fucking pissed man. Something about how the science doesn't work to build a teleporter like that.
I shoulda told him to go to Hope County and see for himself.
[Truly, it's the thought that counts. Sharky's pretty sure Pratt will be cool about it either way.]
I mean, that's what it is, but okay.... [EYEROLL. What a fuckin' prude, man...] Yeah, though, like, what's Joseph gonna do? Tell us the world's ending and we're all gonna die? Turns out that's, uhhh, not a big deal here, so he'd be fucked.
[Sharky would absolutely take a shit in a toilet that housed the consciousness of Joseph Seed. He wouldn't flush, either.]
The fuck is he gonna know about how our shit works? Zip was a fuckin' nutjob but he was a genius, man, if anybody could build a teleporter in their backyard, it was that motherfucker. [Sharky's pretty sure the guy just vaporized himself, TBH, but still, cool idea, right?]
Pretty sure if we told people the cult used hallucinogenic methamphetamines to brainwash innocent civilians, they'd get the point. Uhhh, except you'd have to explain meth to most of them. Turns out, that is not a common drug across reality!
Also already happened so, he's old news. [What's more insulting than hipster gatekeeping the apocalypse from Joseph Seed.]
Makes me wonder if all of Zip's stories were true, like aliens and NASA and shit. Because he.. pretty much built a teleporter out of car batteries and that's fucking impressive.
Really? What drugs do people have in other places? Anything good?
Man... just think, Zip could be up there on Mars right now surrounded by hot alien tail and laughing his ass off at all of us on Earth. Fuck, man, that would honestly be the best news. A junkyard teleporter... if that ain't what Montana is all about, I dunno what is.
[You think that elevator's moved since they came down? Probably. Sharky's gonna slap the shit out of the button regardless of whether or not the car is actually there.]
I, uhhh, haven't actually asked around. I was so busy tryin' all the weird drinks that I forgot! I bet it's all like, weird knock-off weed shit. Like that shit Gandalf smoked in the hobbit movie. [...he means The Lord of the Rings.] They just do not all have home-brewed crystal.
You know what, I hope he is. I hope Zip is on Mars just having orgies constantly and sitting on a lounge chair buck naked with a cigar watching the Earth explode.
[Pratt's pretty sure he turned into a fine red mist trying to use said teleporter, but hey, if he didn't maybe he's having himself a grand time.]
Weird. You'd think everyone would have an upper and a downer. The one you smoke when you're cramming for a test or need to clean your entire house in a day, and the one to recover from that shit and zone out into another plane of existence. [World's best cop right here who's definitely done all of that. He leans against the wall waiting for the elevator to come back.] Maybe it's better though, maybe they live in places that have ten different kinds of E.
[As if Sharky doesn't know the name of every dealer and user in the county... He ain't judging now, but it definitely reaffirms his ACAB sentiments.]
Man, I should ask around. Maybe somebody's got a stash of some, like... euphoria berries or something they'd let us try. [Finding something for Pratt to get zonked on sounds like a solid plan, anyway.] At least one person on this ship has some kinda drug that would be radical to try and I want it.
[For both of them! ...but you know, if there's only enough for one of them then, like... rock paper scissors for it?]
[The elevator cheerfully chirps to announce it's presence and Pratt had never been happier to see a glass box ready to take him to his room.]
I'd be happy with some fentanyl and sleep for three days straight. Just knock me the fuck out. Maybe that's what I need.
[He is on board with the keeping Pratt loopy and sleepy plan.]
Kinda weird the buffet food is all normal. Why isn't there shit from other people's worlds. I want ice cream in flavors of berries that don't exist. Or I dunno... space pasta.
[Sharky's just hoping Pratt makes it back to his room before collapsing. Ugh, it probably hurts pretty bad. They're both used to going without painkillers for minor(ish) injuries, but that still doesn't stop his sympathy.]
Me fuckin' too, man! I mean, the food here is delish, no lie, but it's all fuckin' normal shit. Must suck if your favorite comfort food is, like, roast wampa or some shit... [He's glad his comfort food is bacon, Doritos and energy drinks, that's for sure.] Closest I've gotten is by, like, orderin' weird shit at the bar, but I think that's just sorta me fuckin' with the ghosts. Brad's cool and all, but I don't think he knows how to actually make a Pan Galactic whatever-the-fuck.
[It does in fact hurt pretty bad, but he's powering through. Actually the loopy lightheadedness is helping a lot, because it means he can't focus on the pain, or much of anything really.]
Right, or what if you're a robot and eat circuit boards or something? Actually.... what are the vampires eating?
[Wait wait... He'd always thought it weird that Claudia is a child wandering around with a coffee cup, but being that he's 90% caffeine himself he never really questioned that. It has never occurred to him before this moment that what's in there is absolutely not coffee.]
Oh! Ohhhh. Yeah... Okay that makes sense. Nevermind. I wonder if it's like.. seasoned? Do the vampires get blood in all the varieties that Pepsi comes in?
[Cuz if he was a vampire, he'd want the Mountain Dew option.]
[Maybe they should have taken more than 10 seconds to look through the array of pain medication before deciding nah, but sometimes you gotta be a real dumb alpha dick about things.]
There was blood ice cream, for sure. I dunno if it was really sweet or anything... [He should ask!] I figure it's probably somethin' you could mix, like, bullion cubes or somethin' in, right? Like a stew or somethin'.
And yeah, obviously I named a bartender. I dunno which one, though, so I just call 'em all that now.
[If there's one thing that Pratt is an expert at it's self sabotaging himself in pursuit of some alpha manly image. He's a fucking pro.]
Being a vampire must suck. Only get to eat one thing forever? That's gotta blow. I thought I could live on pizza until I was working at 8-Bit Pizza in high school and super broke and basically ate pizza nonstop cuz it was free. I couldn't look at a slice for months after I quit that place.
Hate not being able to see the ghosts here. Creeps me out.
[He's getting real drowsy, and as soon as the door to the elevator opens he's stumbling out and headed for his room. Because it's going to take everything in him to pass out in his bed instead of on the floor. Maybe his roommate can just... walk around him or something.]
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Fuck you.
[ Deep breath. He's not gonna get mad at the guy who sits with him during his breakdowns and just spent half the night getting him to the infirmary to stitch him up.]
What I mean is I've also met his husband.
Fiancé. Whatever they are.
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....and then they just kinda stay up in a "ooooooh shiiiiiit" sorta way.]
...Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, dude.
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[ Releasing his death grip on his clothes he struggles back into his undershirt. He should have thought to bring a clean one but too late now. He's not gonna walk back to his room shirtless and risk everyone seeing how fucked up he is.
At least Jacob stopped John from getting ahold of him so he doesn't have LUST carved into his back like a tramp stamp. ]
Did he not uh.. mention that? Damn asshole. I shoulda stabbed him...
[ Pratt does not have a high opinion of him. ]
I mean, congrats on the sex. Sorry about the repercussions.
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[Sharky is like, this close to telling Pratt to just put the jacket on, fuck the shirt -- but also, ew. That thing shouldn't be in contact with skin. It's probably, like, toxic...]
Wait, you tried to stab him? [he's gonna have to confiscate your fucking knives, dude.]
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No one's supposed to think with their dick but that doesn't mean we don't all do it. I dunno man, lots of things seemed a good idea at the time. Then were really, really not.
[A huff as he stands up, trying to see if he's too woozy to walk or if he can make it back to his room.]
He told me I was weak. That I should just kill myself and maybe this time it would be permanent. Said maybe that was my purpose. To die. [Glaring at the ground.] He's lucky I didn't fucking snap and skin him in the middle of the damn buffet.
[Needless to say, Pratt is not a fan of Sharky's hookup.] The important part is I didn't. Which I was kinda thinking was good progress for me.
And then this happened.
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[...shit, he doesn't usually have this bad luck. Is his taste just like, off or something?]
Uh. Well, no matter which dude said that, I'm... ugh, proud of you for not actually murderin' anyone. [He feels like such a fucking dad right now and not the fun sexy kind] That shit is fucked up though. I'll. Uh. I'm gonna get to the bottom of all of this because I really do not want to be fuckin' around with someone like that.
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Handsome, but weird.
And classier than either of us were gonna get in Hope County so.. you know. Gratz?
[Sharky should enjoy his fancy fuck while he can.]
New goal: don't murder anyone. Zero murders. I can do this. Second goal: wash this jacket. I know Jacob literally died in it but Jesus Christ.
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Oh my god please wash that fucking thing, man. It is so fucking nasty. [maybe it'll fall apart in the wash? That would be great!] Also, let's get you some fuckin' aspirin or somethin'. And then I'm gonna get you back up to your room so you can get some fuckin' rest.
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I swear to you Jacob actually did laundry. Well he didn't, someone did, but this thing fucking did get washed.
[Oh god was Pratt the only reason anyone did laundry in the Veteran's Center? Was he the first person to use the laundry room and then everyone else got self-conscious and starting washing their clothes. No wonder that place fucking fell apart when he was starving to death. He's probably the only one who knew the wi-fi password too.]
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Yeah, I don't fuckin' buy it, man. That guy always looked like he was wearing clothes he dug out of a latrine trench. Seriously, he was the grossest out of all of 'em. [Sharky's biased, he almost fell in love with
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[Befriended is a strong word there, it's more like she's decided watching him be terrified is amusing and likes following him around.]
This place is weird as fuck.
[A pause there because while he's not going to defend Jacob, he sorta feels like maybe he should? Wow, that's terrible. ]
Don't give him ideas, the fact he didn't have people dig latrines just to throw them in it is a minor miracle. I'm sure if the plumbing stopped working that was his plan. [Shudder because that would have been Pratt and a shovel for weeks of his life.] He's a fucking sadistic monster but he's still just.. a guy. He like showered and ate and slept and stuff.
Or I think he showered. I don't fucking know.
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I'm not givin' him shit other than a swift boot to the neck as I kick his ass overboard. [FUCK JACOB] All that tells me is that monsters need to eat and shit like the rest of us. Doesn't make him a normal guy. Doesn't make any of 'em normal.
[His newest, deepest desire is for one of the Seed brothers to show up so that he can really just beat the shit out of them. It's a simple desire, but it's a strong one!]
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Wait Aiden is a vampire? I thought he could just turn into a cool dog. [Okay, that explains a lot about the black wolf with red eyes as opposed to like, a regular looking dog.] Aiden's rad though, decided I needed an emotional support wolf, and it almost worked. Closest I've been to getting snapped out of going all cultist.
[The logistics of Sharky being able to kick a guy who's probably six foot five in the neck don't quite work in Pratt's mind. Unless he's going to bicycle kick him like Liu Kang and if Sharky does that Pratt is going to assume his brain finally stopped working completely.]
None of them are normal, they're all fucking crazy, but they're still people. And people can be killed. [Culled. Sacrificed. It is taking everything in him to not say either of those.] But if any of them show up here we need to figure out a way to kill 'em permanently before Joseph is on the cruise intercom giving sermons. [Shudder, he never wants to hear his voice again.]
Though maybe if they don't have Bliss they can't do as much damage. And they'd only have so many bullets. I guess I could get Jacob to kill me until he runs out of ammo, that might work.
[Pratt stands unsteadily, leaning on the table for a second before heading to the door. He really needs to lay down, but first he wants to get back to his room.]
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I'm serious, dude, the Seeds aren't gonna have shit goin' for them here. What are they gonna do, start a cult up around the guy in charge? Plus, most of the people here are super suspicious of like, everything. They show up here and they really will be just some fuckin' dickbags.
[Sharky is there every step of the way, man. Now that Pratt's less hysterical and more coherent, it's actually less safe to just randomly grab him, so he winds up sorta hovering nearby in case he's needed. It's hella awkward, but so's a knife wound in your shoulder!]
We, uh. Should probably tell people what kinda shit they got up to, you know? Like, warn everyone? ...Ugh, except then we'd probably just look like a couple'a nutjobs. Like Zip or Larry.
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[Okay he can't really promise that because he does sometimes say insane shit and then forget, so it's possible that might happen, but he'll try his best.]
Also let's... let's not call it 'going full furry'.
[He has one shred of pride left, please don't go telling people that Pratt can be talked down by furrys.]
...Maybe they should show up. Imagine Joseph standing on the deck and preaching and then the Captain walks up and does some magic shit. Turns his skin inside out or vaporizes him or turns him into a toilet. [That's how magic works right?] Think it's too late for me, everyone probably already thinks I'm crazy. Or well, knows I'm crazy I guess. Besides, you wanna explain how Bliss works to someone? Cuz I sure don't. Jacob straight up told me how it works once and I still don't fucking get it.
[A soft laugh as he heads for the elevator, he's leaning on the wall but doesn't look like he's going to pass out immediately.] I told César about Zip. He was so fucking pissed man. Something about how the science doesn't work to build a teleporter like that.
I shoulda told him to go to Hope County and see for himself.
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I mean, that's what it is, but okay.... [EYEROLL. What a fuckin' prude, man...] Yeah, though, like, what's Joseph gonna do? Tell us the world's ending and we're all gonna die? Turns out that's, uhhh, not a big deal here, so he'd be fucked.
[Sharky would absolutely take a shit in a toilet that housed the consciousness of Joseph Seed. He wouldn't flush, either.]
The fuck is he gonna know about how our shit works? Zip was a fuckin' nutjob but he was a genius, man, if anybody could build a teleporter in their backyard, it was that motherfucker. [Sharky's pretty sure the guy just vaporized himself, TBH, but still, cool idea, right?]
Pretty sure if we told people the cult used hallucinogenic methamphetamines to brainwash innocent civilians, they'd get the point. Uhhh, except you'd have to explain meth to most of them. Turns out, that is not a common drug across reality!
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Makes me wonder if all of Zip's stories were true, like aliens and NASA and shit. Because he.. pretty much built a teleporter out of car batteries and that's fucking impressive.
Really? What drugs do people have in other places? Anything good?
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[You think that elevator's moved since they came down? Probably. Sharky's gonna slap the shit out of the button regardless of whether or not the car is actually there.]
I, uhhh, haven't actually asked around. I was so busy tryin' all the weird drinks that I forgot! I bet it's all like, weird knock-off weed shit. Like that shit Gandalf smoked in the hobbit movie. [...he means The Lord of the Rings.] They just do not all have home-brewed crystal.
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[Pratt's pretty sure he turned into a fine red mist trying to use said teleporter, but hey, if he didn't maybe he's having himself a grand time.]
Weird. You'd think everyone would have an upper and a downer. The one you smoke when you're cramming for a test or need to clean your entire house in a day, and the one to recover from that shit and zone out into another plane of existence. [World's best cop right here who's definitely done all of that. He leans against the wall waiting for the elevator to come back.] Maybe it's better though, maybe they live in places that have ten different kinds of E.
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Man, I should ask around. Maybe somebody's got a stash of some, like... euphoria berries or something they'd let us try. [Finding something for Pratt to get zonked on sounds like a solid plan, anyway.] At least one person on this ship has some kinda drug that would be radical to try and I want it.
[For both of them! ...but you know, if there's only enough for one of them then, like... rock paper scissors for it?]
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I'd be happy with some fentanyl and sleep for three days straight. Just knock me the fuck out. Maybe that's what I need.
[He is on board with the keeping Pratt loopy and sleepy plan.]
Kinda weird the buffet food is all normal. Why isn't there shit from other people's worlds. I want ice cream in flavors of berries that don't exist. Or I dunno... space pasta.
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Me fuckin' too, man! I mean, the food here is delish, no lie, but it's all fuckin' normal shit. Must suck if your favorite comfort food is, like, roast wampa or some shit... [He's glad his comfort food is bacon, Doritos and energy drinks, that's for sure.] Closest I've gotten is by, like, orderin' weird shit at the bar, but I think that's just sorta me fuckin' with the ghosts. Brad's cool and all, but I don't think he knows how to actually make a Pan Galactic whatever-the-fuck.
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Right, or what if you're a robot and eat circuit boards or something? Actually.... what are the vampires eating?
[Wait wait... He'd always thought it weird that Claudia is a child wandering around with a coffee cup, but being that he's 90% caffeine himself he never really questioned that. It has never occurred to him before this moment that what's in there is absolutely not coffee.]
Oh! Ohhhh. Yeah... Okay that makes sense. Nevermind. I wonder if it's like.. seasoned? Do the vampires get blood in all the varieties that Pepsi comes in?
[Cuz if he was a vampire, he'd want the Mountain Dew option.]
Brad? Did you name the bartender?
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There was blood ice cream, for sure. I dunno if it was really sweet or anything... [He should ask!] I figure it's probably somethin' you could mix, like, bullion cubes or somethin' in, right? Like a stew or somethin'.
And yeah, obviously I named a bartender. I dunno which one, though, so I just call 'em all that now.
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Being a vampire must suck. Only get to eat one thing forever? That's gotta blow. I thought I could live on pizza until I was working at 8-Bit Pizza in high school and super broke and basically ate pizza nonstop cuz it was free. I couldn't look at a slice for months after I quit that place.
Hate not being able to see the ghosts here. Creeps me out.
[He's getting real drowsy, and as soon as the door to the elevator opens he's stumbling out and headed for his room. Because it's going to take everything in him to pass out in his bed instead of on the floor. Maybe his roommate can just... walk around him or something.]
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