[it's either so he can be healthier, or because he wants to start using them as currency. those are the only reasons people ever stop smoking!
the thing about missing hugs downright near breaks his heart, and Sharky reaches over to give him a reassuring two-armed squeeze. it's hard to know what to do for Pratt sometimes, but these kinds of moments are thankfully easier for him to figure out.]
I'm sorry things are shitty right now, bro. [there's a full-on head pat involved included with the commiseration.]
Thanks man. [He manages to not burst into full blown tears, but there's a definite shudder when he's hugged.] It was going so well for a bit too, think that's why I'm like... not... okay with things. I'm overthought... overthinking it like maybe I did something? But I dunno what...
[Hug returned! Because Pratt is so miserable that his dumb brain doesn't have enough sober braincells free to remember that being touched = bad.]
I'll be... well not okay but you know.. me... again.. eventually. I just kinda.. thought.. I dunno. I could talk to the cat and he'd bring him back. [That's right, Sharky came too late to witness Pratt begging a ghost cat that isn't there to bring Izzy back.] And then I figured I was in the bar anyway so....
Yeah. It really sucks when things are looking up and then more bad shit happens. [the time just before the Highwaymen showed up was pretty good. the time before the Collapse had been even better, but Eden's Gate had wound up boiling them alive. by the time the end of the world happened, everything already felt like it was over.]
I don't think it's got anything to do with you, though. I think if anyone's gotta take the heat, it's probably the guy who disappeared, y'know?
He wanted to go home but that's... not where he is. And I don't think Clara wanted to. Or Claudia. But they're all still fucking gone.
You know.. you know what.. the-the.. the worst thing is? I was counting them and you know how shit I am with remembering people? Names? Almost everyone who's name I can remember isn't here anymore. Izzy, Clara, Claudia, Mizuki, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ebalon, Blackbeard, Stede.... maybe I am the problem. I dunno.
[it sucks. there's no getting around it. Sharky doesn't have all the answers -- most of the time he doesn't have any answers -- but he knows that Pratt doesn't deserve all of this guilt on top of what he's already carrying. part of him worries that the more doubt and guilt Pratt feels, the more likely he is to disappear, too.
that would suck. fuck. he really doesn't wanna think about that.]
Yeah. I get it, man. You knew all these people and they're gone and it feels like maybe if you did, like, one thing different, doesn't matter what that thing is, if you'd done it different they'd still be here. I dunno how it works. Nobody really does. And I knew lots of those people too -- Stede, Clara, Jinx, I knew all of them too. I knew Venti, too. And the cool kid who gave us all weed. But...
[yeah, fuck it, he's gonna go whole hog on this:] Like, it isn't my fault they're gone, right? It isn't Ava's fault her shitty ex-boyfriend disappeared, right?
[ He snuffles and wipes his nose on his sleeve but at least he's listening and not flopped over in a pile wailing about how everything ever is his fault. Its hard to figure out how to explain that this is definitely not Ava or Sharky's fault, but it is Pratt's fault. Maybe when he's not in a drunken stupor he can word that better.]
No. But... I dunno. We don't even know what makes people go away. Did they all die in a specific way? [ Did something kill Claudia??? That's actually kind of alarming.] Gua...J-Jenny did that.. to get off the boat. Killed em all permanently somehow. I dunno.
This sucks man. [ He slumps against Sharky, just a deputy shaped sludge that is giving up cuz he doesn't know how to protect people from reality itself.]
Yeah, I read about that. [because, surprise! Sharky actually read the entire binder, and he even internalized, like, 60% of its contents. he's also got his own theories about how things work around here, which he normally wouldn't share, but Pratt is in pretty dire straits, here.]
I dunno what it is that does it permanently, man. All I know is that, like... Some of the people here, no matter how much they try or how hard they adapt, they just don't wanna be here. All the names you said that I recognize, they were never like us, y'know? Meanwhile, you, me, Ava, we're still here, 'cos instead of losing it over not being able to go home, we're like, "okay, fine, cool, we can live here then. We can live somewhere else. We can make plans for a life after the end of the world."
[which... yeah. that's all this really is. it's the bunker-space that spans the time between the Collapse and the eventual new world. they just have to be willing to wait and wait and wait -- until the right moment shows itself and they can throw open the hatch.]
It really, really sucks, dude. No arguments here. [just a lot of hugging, tbh] But it's gonna be okay.
[Pratt sniffles along as Sharky says all the right things to get Pratt to stop blaming himself for at least ten minutes. And it all makes sense, not just because he's drunk but because that's also sort of what others had said too. That maybe people left because they just couldn't adapt. Like houseplants not getting enough light - they couldn't thrive in this reality.]
I guess.. like... we did, we've done it before huh? Just waiting it out til shit's okay again. And you made it through waaaaay longer than me so..
Just it's.. it sucks they're gone and also... [Way quieter, almost whispered.] I don't wanna get eaten by the ship. Don't wanna be the next one gone.
[Is that selfish? It feels a little selfish of him to worry about himself instead of everyone else. But he also doesn't give a shit about himself, so maybe that's a positive? He has no clue.]
So I know more, and you should listen to me. [he accompanies it with a little shoulder shake, as if he could pull Pratt out of his shitty mood the same way he can fix a half-melted cocktail.]
And... yeah. Yeah, I know the feel, dude. [that shoulder shake becomes a firm, tight side-hug. the thought of it being selfish doesn't even cross his mind -- self-preservation is such a basic human concept that it simply is, you know?] I know we don't know how it works exactly, but like. You got a good reason to stay here, you got friends, we've got a plan for what comes next. If any of that's the key to stickin' it out, then you're set. And if it ain't... man, I'll fight the Captain myself to get you back. Find a portal like in Poltergeist and pull you out.
[at that point, TBH, he would just free all the ghosts and let things lie where they fall. there's more than one way to burn this place to the ground, after all.]
Yeah yea you're older and wiser than me. [Legitimately old enough to be his dad actually. But he does sigh and sits up a little less miserably, though still kinda wobbly from way too many drinks.] I deff don't wanna go back home to decaying in Fall's End. And the people here mostly rock. Ava and Clarke and Bash and Klaus and all of them.. Even that dude with the stupid hair who yells at me over physics.
[He just makes an unsure grunt at that last part because he sure as fuck tried to get Sharky out of the ship and it didn't work. He's not sure what else he could have done to rip him out of there like the girl who crawled out of the tv in the Ring. But he's fortunately a little too drunk to say that in any coherent way.]
Even the worst dudes here are just kinda shitty. [as opposed to back home, where they had to deal with actual bloodthirsty cannibal cultists.
he catches the grunt, but not really what it's for. probably just manly discomfort over big emotions, that dumb gay bastard.]
It's gonna suck, but we can make it through this, dude. Like, I'm not about to give up on that gator farm dream, and neither are you. I mean, not that the gator farm is your dream, but like, you know. I think you said somethin' about San Francisco??
[he knows the drill. mourn the loss of the life they had, remember the life they're working towards.]
You still gotta do it so I can brag to people that I know the guy who sold that gator that Snoop is walking around with.
And yeah I wanna... want a place with one of those windows that are.. [He holds his arms in a sorta circle to indicate the bay windows that Victorian houses tend to have.] and people watch while I drink coffee and then go to the cool clubs in the evening.
[Pratt grins softly, gonna live his gay Castro dreams somehow.]
Aight aight. I think.. I'm probably... needta lay down. Hitting that point where I wanna sleep.
[Sharky memorizes those exact words to the best of his ability, so he can pull it out whenever Pratt starts feeling hopeless. something worth sticking this out for, no matter how bad it gets, no matter how easy it might feel to just stop being here.
he doesn't even know if that's how it really works, but he believes it, and that's good enough.]
Man, that's gay as fuck. Love that for you. [he finally disarms himself from Pratt and makes moves to climb to his feet.] Alright, man. Let's get you to bed. You wanna crash in my room? Joan, uhhh, hasn't been around lately. Pretty sure she's not gonna mind.
[he's not SAYING she disappeared, but he's like 99% sure she did.]
God I'm gonna be sooooooooooooooooooooooooo gay man. Hang one of those flags from my window I don't even fucking care. Though boobs are good too. Women are pretty. Guys are great. I want all the things. Is there a flag for that?
[Pratt's sexual identity is: yes please.]
Yeah your room is probably better, in case I wake up super hungover and like fall onto John. Squash him. [There is no way he's not hungover tomorrow.]
You're the best Sharky. Love you in a non homo way. Lots of homo but not with you.
[Oh yeah, it's time for the drunken love fest of Pratt reciting his platonic love for Sharky the whole way back to his room.]
Yeah, it's, uhhhhhh... [its been almost 20 years since he had to think about pride flags] Piiink, purple blue? I think? Or pink yellow blue? Yeah. One of those.
[he only remembers those and the bear pride flag. that one he just remembers because there's a bear paw on it.]
Awww, bud. Love you too. Let's get you to bed before you start regretting how much you drank. Save that shit for tomorrow. [he'll even forgo the no homo jokes this time!]
S'good. I'll get 'em all and then when people question me I can just be like? Wanna bet? And then you know.. everyone goes home happy.
[Sure that's what would happen when people ask what the 20 flags he has means. But that's for future Pratt when he's not on this boat, and definitely when he's not white boy wasted over a guy who's dick he never even got to see much less ride. He's just going to be continue to tell Sharky how great he is before faceplanting into his couch and not moving for the next 12-hours. A good time was had by all.]
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the thing about missing hugs downright near breaks his heart, and Sharky reaches over to give him a reassuring two-armed squeeze. it's hard to know what to do for Pratt sometimes, but these kinds of moments are thankfully easier for him to figure out.]
I'm sorry things are shitty right now, bro. [there's a full-on head pat involved included with the commiseration.]
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[Hug returned! Because Pratt is so miserable that his dumb brain doesn't have enough sober braincells free to remember that being touched = bad.]
I'll be... well not okay but you know.. me... again.. eventually. I just kinda.. thought.. I dunno. I could talk to the cat and he'd bring him back. [That's right, Sharky came too late to witness Pratt begging a ghost cat that isn't there to bring Izzy back.] And then I figured I was in the bar anyway so....
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I don't think it's got anything to do with you, though. I think if anyone's gotta take the heat, it's probably the guy who disappeared, y'know?
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You know.. you know what.. the-the.. the worst thing is? I was counting them and you know how shit I am with remembering people? Names? Almost everyone who's name I can remember isn't here anymore. Izzy, Clara, Claudia, Mizuki, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ebalon, Blackbeard, Stede.... maybe I am the problem. I dunno.
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that would suck. fuck. he really doesn't wanna think about that.]
Yeah. I get it, man. You knew all these people and they're gone and it feels like maybe if you did, like, one thing different, doesn't matter what that thing is, if you'd done it different they'd still be here. I dunno how it works. Nobody really does. And I knew lots of those people too -- Stede, Clara, Jinx, I knew all of them too. I knew Venti, too. And the cool kid who gave us all weed. But...
[yeah, fuck it, he's gonna go whole hog on this:] Like, it isn't my fault they're gone, right? It isn't Ava's fault her shitty ex-boyfriend disappeared, right?
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No. But... I dunno. We don't even know what makes people go away. Did they all die in a specific way? [ Did something kill Claudia??? That's actually kind of alarming.] Gua...J-Jenny did that.. to get off the boat. Killed em all permanently somehow. I dunno.
This sucks man. [ He slumps against Sharky, just a deputy shaped sludge that is giving up cuz he doesn't know how to protect people from reality itself.]
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I dunno what it is that does it permanently, man. All I know is that, like... Some of the people here, no matter how much they try or how hard they adapt, they just don't wanna be here. All the names you said that I recognize, they were never like us, y'know? Meanwhile, you, me, Ava, we're still here, 'cos instead of losing it over not being able to go home, we're like, "okay, fine, cool, we can live here then. We can live somewhere else. We can make plans for a life after the end of the world."
[which... yeah. that's all this really is. it's the bunker-space that spans the time between the Collapse and the eventual new world. they just have to be willing to wait and wait and wait -- until the right moment shows itself and they can throw open the hatch.]
It really, really sucks, dude. No arguments here. [just a lot of hugging, tbh] But it's gonna be okay.
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I guess.. like... we did, we've done it before huh? Just waiting it out til shit's okay again. And you made it through waaaaay longer than me so..
Just it's.. it sucks they're gone and also... [Way quieter, almost whispered.] I don't wanna get eaten by the ship. Don't wanna be the next one gone.
[Is that selfish? It feels a little selfish of him to worry about himself instead of everyone else. But he also doesn't give a shit about himself, so maybe that's a positive? He has no clue.]
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And... yeah. Yeah, I know the feel, dude. [that shoulder shake becomes a firm, tight side-hug. the thought of it being selfish doesn't even cross his mind -- self-preservation is such a basic human concept that it simply is, you know?] I know we don't know how it works exactly, but like. You got a good reason to stay here, you got friends, we've got a plan for what comes next. If any of that's the key to stickin' it out, then you're set. And if it ain't... man, I'll fight the Captain myself to get you back. Find a portal like in Poltergeist and pull you out.
[at that point, TBH, he would just free all the ghosts and let things lie where they fall. there's more than one way to burn this place to the ground, after all.]
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[He just makes an unsure grunt at that last part because he sure as fuck tried to get Sharky out of the ship and it didn't work. He's not sure what else he could have done to rip him out of there like the girl who crawled out of the tv in the Ring. But he's fortunately a little too drunk to say that in any coherent way.]
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he catches the grunt, but not really what it's for. probably just manly discomfort over big emotions, that dumb gay bastard.]
It's gonna suck, but we can make it through this, dude. Like, I'm not about to give up on that gator farm dream, and neither are you. I mean, not that the gator farm is your dream, but like, you know. I think you said somethin' about San Francisco??
[he knows the drill. mourn the loss of the life they had, remember the life they're working towards.]
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And yeah I wanna... want a place with one of those windows that are.. [He holds his arms in a sorta circle to indicate the bay windows that Victorian houses tend to have.] and people watch while I drink coffee and then go to the cool clubs in the evening.
[Pratt grins softly, gonna live his gay Castro dreams somehow.]
Aight aight. I think.. I'm probably... needta lay down. Hitting that point where I wanna sleep.
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he doesn't even know if that's how it really works, but he believes it, and that's good enough.]
Man, that's gay as fuck. Love that for you. [he finally disarms himself from Pratt and makes moves to climb to his feet.] Alright, man. Let's get you to bed. You wanna crash in my room? Joan, uhhh, hasn't been around lately. Pretty sure she's not gonna mind.
[he's not SAYING she disappeared, but he's like 99% sure she did.]
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[Pratt's sexual identity is: yes please.]
Yeah your room is probably better, in case I wake up super hungover and like fall onto John. Squash him. [There is no way he's not hungover tomorrow.]
You're the best Sharky. Love you in a non homo way. Lots of homo but not with you.
[Oh yeah, it's time for the drunken love fest of Pratt reciting his platonic love for Sharky the whole way back to his room.]
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[he only remembers those and the bear pride flag. that one he just remembers because there's a bear paw on it.]
Awww, bud. Love you too. Let's get you to bed before you start regretting how much you drank. Save that shit for tomorrow. [he'll even forgo the no homo jokes this time!]
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[Sure that's what would happen when people ask what the 20 flags he has means. But that's for future Pratt when he's not on this boat, and definitely when he's not white boy wasted over a guy who's dick he never even got to see much less ride. He's just going to be continue to tell Sharky how great he is before faceplanting into his couch and not moving for the next 12-hours. A good time was had by all.]